• theloathiest

900 Pancakes and Counting

I have 28 pounds of pancake mix. I wish I was kidding.

So, I’ve had a few martinis. I may just use this post to complain about things…or tell everyone how much I love them…or drop my pants. Pay no attention to pantless man behind the internet. He is of no consequence.

Yet, since I am dedicated to you I shall trudge forth in our marvelous adventure.

Now, versions of this recipe have been flying all over the google-machine for quite some time. In no way shape or form am I the creator. I am only the keeper of the flame. You know what we…you know..you..what we should do? We should go down to city hall…you know what…you’ve got a nice face…I love you…..

Stupid martinis and pancake recipes don’t mix.

This is the easiest recipe for pancakes in the world. It requires little to no memorization and has infinite possibilities for improvisation. If we wanted robotic chefs, we’d invent mutha-buttering Sandra Lee. Aw forget it, here’s the ingredients.

- 1 egg

- 1 cup flour

- 1 cup milk

- 1 teaspoon baking powder

- 1 teaspoon of vanilla

- 1 pinch of salt

- 1 handful of chocolate chips

- Butter or cooking spray

Get it? You just have to remember “one.” Egg, flour, milk, baking powder, vanilla, salt, chips (ok, a handful is stretching the one concept – just go with it). Mix the egg, flour, milk, baking powder, vanilla and salt into a bowl. No need to get fancy. We’re going simple here. Use a spoon and mix until unlumped.

Heat a griddle or large flat bottomed skillet on medium. Coat your bottom in either butter or cooking spray (heh heh). Add batter to your desired pancake size. Once the pancake has spread out on the griddle, sprinkle on some chocolate chips. When the pancake edges look cooked and the bubbles start popping up through the top. Flip, my sober friend. Cook for about another one or two minutes and put on a plate. You know what a done pancake looks like. Go for that. The edges will be nice and brown and crispy and yummy and the chocolate chips should have nestled in nicely. Make as many batches as required. Keep your skillet coated with butter or spray between batches.

Flip my sober friend. Commas, context and capitalization are important. Help Uncle Jack off that horse. I digress.

Again, you can add whatever makes you happy instead of or with the chocolate chips: blueberries, bananas, cookie dough, a Volkswagen Passant. It’s all good in book/blog. Cover in butter, and real maple syrup. Seriously, use the real stuff made from real maple trees. That stuff we grew up on is a travesty. Anyway, enjoy kids. I love you all.

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