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It's Taco Tuesday Somewhere in the World

Not Pictured: Tuesday

Black Bean Tacos

“You’re gonna miss me by walk, oh. You’re gonna to miss me by my taco.” – Anna Kendrick, Cups

So, this is my go to I don’t feel like cooking anything but still want to seem like I know what I’m doing recipe for vegetarian tacos when I forgot to defrost something. That is not the official name of the recipe. It would be awkward on a t-shirt. Here it is though. This is my black bean taco recipe.


- 1 can of black beans

- 1/2 onion chopped

- a clove of crushed garlic

- 2 teaspoons cumin

- 1 little dollop of chipotle pepper sauce (or whatever you want to add some heat)

- Splash of lime (I keep a bottle in the fridge)

- ½ teaspoon cinnamon

- ½ teaspoon smoked paprika

- Salt

- Pepper

- Swirls of olive oil

For shells:

- Six corn tortillas

- Salt

- Chili Powder

For Garnish:

- Cheddar Cheese or you know, whatever

- Salsa

- Sour Cream

- Guacamole

- Lettuce

First sploosh around some olive oil in the bottom of a medium sauce pan. Toss in your chopped onions and sweat them. I wish I had some great joke for that. I don’t. It seems like a good opportunity for one though. At this point, I feel it’s too late in the conversation. As you’re thinking of one, turn on your oven to 375.

Anyway, cook those onions in the saucepan with a pinch of salt on medium heat for about four minutes. Add the crushed garlic and cook for another minute. Then add the beans, cumin, lime, cinnamon, paprika, pepper, and another pinch of salt. As for the chipotle pepper sauce thing, - at the store, there are cans of chipotle peppers. I open the can (that was needless direction I suppose) and use little touches of the sauce in my fancy Mexican cooking. Then I put the remaining peppers and sauce in a Tupperware and store in the fridge for a two weeks or so. I’m a nancy, so it’s really hot for me. I just you a touch of it. When I feel less than manly, I take shots of it off the tail of an ill-tempered bear. I don’t feel less than manly very often thankfully. If you don’t feel like using a can of chipotle peppers, just use cayenne.

Adjust your seasonings as always. I’m not here to dictate to your taste buds. You’re looking for a nice simmer on the beans, not a boil. Adjust your heat too. Leave the lid off of the saucepan. You want the bean sauce to cook down. You can mash them up a bit to thicken.

In the meantime, brush your corn tortilla shells with oil (or cooking spray) on one side. Sprinkle with salt and chili powder. Flip them over and repeat. I lay out a large piece of tinfoil on the counter so I don’t get oil on my counter or my counter on the tortillas. Now, place those tortillas over two grates in the oven rack. Seriously, see how there are about 18 running parallel? Put each tortilla over two of them with the remaining edges of the tortilla flopping down. Do that with each tortilla. Gravity will bring the edges down and make a perfect stand-up by itself shell. TWO GRATES. You can try it over one; don’t say you weren’t warned. Cook for 7-10 minutes. Watch them because they will burn.

Or, put them on a cookie sheet. Flip after five minutes and make tostadas. Still watch them carefully. See, perfect little taco/tostado shells. You may place me up on your shoulders like the commercials say you should. I can wait. When your shells are done, your beans should be cooked down enough.

Now it’s a taco/tostado. Garnish. You don’t need me to tell you what to do from here on out do you? If you do, mock yourself appropriately. Serve with a side of Mexican rice. I’d be happy using a microwaveable bag of it. It’s Taco Tuesday somewhere in world. Enjoy.

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