• theloathiest

Mother Smurfing Steak

Here's my effort. My sister's is below (and super awesomer)

Ask an American service member what their last meal was before they deployed to war. I’ve done it a few times. Steak always has sent me to battle.

Steak is timeless. It drank single malt scotch with Teddy Roosevelt. Steak dated Jane Seymour. Steak is the only classic that could still pull off a fedora. You can’t. Your steak can. It is all sizzle and slow burn. Steak is home and sex and hope.

So, it’s with a fair amount of in trepidation, I present to how I do a cast iron steak. Tweak yours. More than any food, steak preference is left to the individual palate and the eccentricities of the meat. Temperature, time, thickness, cut, aging, and cooking method all affect your steak. Take this recipe and do what you will. It’s my foundation for a decent home cooked steak.

Today, I used a one pound T-bone, about an inch thick.

Take your steak out of the fridge about 30 to 45 minutes in advance. The closer to room temperature it is, the more even your cooking will be. I season mine on both sides with some good pinches of salt, a heavy dose of ground pepper and a thin layer of brown sugar.

Pre-heat your oven to 450 degrees. Blaze your cast iron skillet on the stove top on high heat. Why the oven you may ask? Well, the steak creates a lot of smoke on the range top. My smoke detectors scoff at two minutes of steak smoke. More than that is pushing their amiability. The oven helps not set off my sprinklers. That’s a true story.

Right before putting the steak in the pan, I coat both sides of the meat in a very thin layer of oil. I use I use canola because olive oil smokes too much from the get go. I sear each side for exactly one minute. If there’s a fatty edge, I sear that too for another minute. Then I put the skillet in the oven. After three minutes, I flip and cook three more. (Five minutes a side is well done, but certainly still very tasty). I take the skillet out and spread on a little pat of butter. I let the steak rest for five minutes.

Sister Jen's efforts

This steak is what my big sister did. She's a way better cook and baker. I'm taller and have more back hair. It's in no way a fair trade off.


I made some Brussels sprouts with it in a separate cast iron skillet. I cut off the flat bottoms of the sprouts and rinsed. I thickly diced some carrots and parsnips. Sprinkle everything with salt and pepper. Add a few shakes of balsamic and coat the vegetables in olive oil. They cook at 450 degrees, same as the steak, for 25 minutes. Stir, when you put the steak in, when you flip the steak, and when you take the steak out of the oven.

Steak does not warrant snarkiness. You probably still do though.

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