• theloathiest


"Stuff" on a Shingle. You get the drift.

I’m a sailor. That should be enough exposition for this recipe. I absolutely crave this stuff. Call it what you will: creamed chipped beef on toast, sh** on a shingle or simply SOS. It’s incredibly easy and terribly addicting.

Did you know SOS means “Save Our Ship”. Did you also know that hero of the Naval Battle of Midway was Chevy Chase’s grandfather? Also, the Battle of Trafalgar was won due to Napoleon’s inability to reach high shelving. While I don’t recommend you normally get all your Naval history from a food blog, I’m pretty solid.

Another digression, did you know there’s a food blog called “The South in my Mouth.” Heh heh.

Anyway, on to my SOS.


- 2 tablespoons butter

- 2 tablespoons flour

- 2 cups milk (the more fat the better)

- 1 jar of dried beef (you’ll find it probably with the tuna in the store)

- ½ green pepper chopped

- Salt

- Pepper

- Dash of Worcestershire sauce

- Dash of cayenne pepper

- Paprika

- Mashed potatoes, the microwave kind because I’m lazy

- Toast

Get out your big skillet. Cut your dried beef into small pieces. Wash and drain them really well. They are salty as all get out. Really, try one. Put it in your mouth. Put it…in…your…mouth. Blech, right. I realize we are going to be adding salt later. Believe me, this way is better. It’s what Chevy Chase’s grandfather would do. Seriously, hero of the Battle of Midway…

Melt the butter on medium heat and add the flour. Stir for about three minutes. You’re cooking out the taste out of the raw flour. If you don’t, you’re gravy will taste like paste. Third graders of the world rejoice. Watch the flour, move it around. Don’t burn it.

Now, toss in your chipped beef and green peppers. Stir that around for another three minutes. The chipped beef ends should get nice and curled and the green pepper soft. Pour the milk in slowly and whisk constantly. Be careful with adding salt. There’s residual still in the beef. Add pepper, cayenne pepper and Worcestershire sauce to taste. Seriously, taste it. Adjust your seasonings. Add stuff until your mouth says, “nice work sailor.” That was weird.

In the mean-time, start your microwave potatoes. Look, make your own if you like. SOS is easy. Mashed potatoes, while easy, are just an extra step you don’t need – like paying for things. Buy those refrigerated tubs of potatoes and nuke away. Also, start your toast. Again, no further exposition necessary.

Simmer your sauce with little gentle bubbles but don’t boil. Keep whisking until it’s thick enough for your approval – not watery but not thick so it won’t pour properly. When it meets your consistency approval, put a scoop of potatoes on your toast and ladle the SOS over it.

I caught myself licking the pan (after I fed folks, not before). I’m just saying.

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